Fast forward to tonight. I was reading a chapter in Richard Foster’s book Celebration of Discipline, which is a book more or less about lost spiritual arts. After finishing the chapter my mind ran nostalgic, thinking about all of the things we don’t do anymore. We don’t porch sit anymore. We don’t talk over fences. We don’t “stop by” for coffee. We don’t “raise barns”. We don’t spin yarns. We don’t skip rocks. We don’t turn wrenches. I go to a church that doesn’t have an organ and we rarely sing hymns anymore. I remember the all-weekend affair of “putting up” fruits and vegetables, which required two aunts and a small family reunion.

Foster says that busy-ness isn’t of the devil, it is the devil. In my Aunt Marian’s home, they all used to sit around while the potatoes finished boiling and pass around sections of the newspaper. Mail was an adventure, especially when the letter had your name on it. Technology is supposed to simplify and streamline our lives, freeing up our time to enjoy life. Still, we spend hours pouring over e-mail and web page after web page of news and information. It would seem the phenomenal development of technology has done more to devour our time and isolate us from family than fulfill its promise of saving it.

So, if we really take stock in all we have and all we do – if we honestly examine what has become important to us – are we spending our time more wisely in the 21st century than we were in the 19th? Grab a lawn chair and sit in your front lawn while you contemplate the answer to that question.

In the last six weeks we have had the honor of bringing God’s truth to the lives of Rob and Sally. Sally contacted me after leaving Rob in Tennessee and moving back to the West Michigan area. She told me that, after 19 years of enduring neglect, disrespect, and verbal abuse, she simply could not live with him anymore. I asked Sally for permission to contact Rob and find out where his heart was. The first conversation I had with him was filled with tears and remorse. Rob told me that he had started going to church and was meeting regularly with the pastor there. A few weeks later Sally told me that she was really irritated with Rob because he was taking away the reasons she had for leaving him. I’m incredibly hopeful for the two of them. The last time we had coffee together, Sally told me that she planned to go home soon and rejoin her husband in Tennessee. As you read this great story, I want you to clearly understand that this reunion has very little to do with 4BetterOr4Worse and everything to do God turning Rob’s life upside down and chasing after his heart.

This past September we embarked on the adventure of our first annual pledge drive. We received pledges from 16 people (more than I expected) and raised roughly $1500 in pledges, or 75% of the $2000 goal for next year’s budget. Even though the pledge drive is finished for the year, we’ll still continue to seek out people who believe in the work God is doing through us and wish to support us financially. We also held our 2nd quarterly E4M (Encouragement 4 Men) event at New Community Church on the Northeast side of Grand Rapids. Big thank you to Pastor Mark Vander Meer for giving us an incredible venue and to Carpenter’s Cross for providing some awesome praise and worship music. We doubled the attendance of our June event and it’s clear that God is building a community of men.

Our next big event is coming just after the New Year. On January 13 we’re holding the next E4M event which will be an open house. There is a lot to be excited about because we’re combining a number of things in one evening including a special prayer meeting for our donors. Early in January we’ll be calling our pledge donors for prayer concerns and we’ll be bringing together a group of people to cover those concerns in prayer. There will also be a session to review some of the important spiritual material we use with the men we mentor. The open house is a family event that will provide an opportunity for people to get to know us and how we operate. Bring the wife. Bring the kids. Save room for desert. There’s something there for everyone!

We’re constantly looking for areas to improve 4BetterOr4Worse Ministry. Simply, we want to be open to the Spirit flowing through us and affecting the lives of married men around us. We’re already making improvements to our internet presence. We’ve removed some areas of the web community that never seem to get any attention. We have moved the prayer aspect of the ministry from our website to Facebook. We believe this move will make it much easier for people involved in the ministry to ask for and receive prayer (On that note, let me also say that we are still looking for a web savvy man to lead our prayer team. I’m not discouraged that God hasn’t given us the right man for this job and I’m content to wait on His timing.).

I’d like to thank you all of your continued support of 4BetterOr4Worse Ministry. With your prayers and support God can continue to bring men closer to Jesus and deeper in their relationships with their wives and families.

I have mixed emotions about this. On one hand I’m excited because if God is calling me to be more disciplined there must be a reason for it. Maybe this is a foreshadowing of some event or series of happenings that will require me to be firmly centered in the Spirit. On the other hand, I have a healthy fear of events that require me to be firmly centered in the Spirit. Generally they are uncomfortable.

While I ponder these things on a lazy Sunday fall afternoon, sitting on the sofa watching a football game I have no vested interest in, I consider the men around me – many of which are embroiled in one battle or another. Some of them are skirmishes and others are drawn out bloody battles. Yet here I sit, physically and spiritually, on the sofa watching the world go by. The recognition of this situation is convicting.

I feel that I’ve been called to this ministry to lead men, helping them connect with their identity in Jesus Christ and to be energized by the Holy Spirit. Leadership isn’t positioning oneself behind the men and watching them engage the enemy. To lead means to draw sword, scream the battle cry, and run ahead inspiring those who come behind to greatness. This is the whisper that rings in my heart (Remember, the Spirit does not yell, it speaks softly).

I feel this deeply because I look around and see so many men who command from a position of cowardice (not practicing what they teach) or who simply lay down their swords in apathy. Those who achieve excellence get there only through discipline and pursuit – from being engaged and active. Those who do not become merely spectators, fans, or dreamers.

Which are you? Are you William Wallace? Are you leading the charge inspiring your wife and your children to their potential or are you the leaders of Troy, watching from the city wall while your family engages the enemy with nothing more than your words of wisdom?

Spiritual discipline, like any other, requires engagement and effort.
What does that engagement look like? It’s the how that keeps a lot of guys on the sidelines. Even if they want to, they don’t know how. For those of you who know me, it would be like me putting on the Buena Vista Social Club CD and trying to figure out how to swing dance.

Richard Foster wrote a book called Celebration of Discipline. This is an awesome book that teaches us the disciplines in which we need to excel so that we can stand solidly against Satan and his battle tactics. Foster talks about the inner disciplines of meditation, prayer, fasting, and study. He also outlines the outer disciplines of simplicity, solitude, submission, and service. Lastly, he discusses the corporate (group) disciplines of confession, worship, guidance, and celebration. This is a comprehensive manual for spiritual fitness and readiness.

There is another manual that you probably have in your home somewhere. Here are a few quotes from the manual.

I challenge anyone who reads this post to commit to spiritual fitness (equally as important as physical fitness) and become more disciplined. Foster’s book is a great resource. It’s available on-line or in most local bookstores.
Sometimes it helps to have another head in the game as well. If you need some help sorting through how you can personally engage in Spiritual Discipline, give us a shout. We have some solid guys who can help you get started.

Thanks for stopping by.

First, I had to deal with my typical maleness. I had to reset my mental state to recognize that, after all is said and done, it’s simply a game. No lives were in the balance, no endangered species were harmed – only the fragile egos of some devoted fans who have invested years of time and attendance in their teams were strained. It’s going to be okay. As a very wise man once told me, “The sun will come up tomorrow”.

As I came to terms with the irrelevance of my anxiety, I was reminded of a question my pastor asked of us at a men’s event at Ada Bible Church. “What kind of a man are you when you don’t get what you want?” Okay, I wanted a win today. I wanted it pretty badly. I was denied the joy and satisfaction of beating Sparty in the Big House. Was I upset? Did I yell a the TV? Sure did! So, what kind of a man am I going to be in the face of this reality? Honestly, it’s pretty sad to see a man in his 40s pouting over a football game.

What if it wasn’t a football game? What if it was something more important? What if my car got wrecked? What if my business failed? What if my house burned down? What if my wife left me? What if someone close to me died? What if a series of events in my life caused me to lose everything that was important to me? (I know two guys in this situation right now. For these two guys this isn’t “what if” – this is reality.) What kind of a man would I be if life doesn’t go the way I think it should? Am I going to be a bitter bastard? Do I go through life rockin’ a bad attitude because this isn’t what I signed up for?

We get the privilege of entering into the lives of men who are in this state. We sit with them and share in the pain, disappointment, anger, and resentment of the beat downs and the close games in their lives. We sit with them and cringe at the near misses and stand next to them with blank faces as together we absorb the scores run up against them – knowing there just isn’t enough time on the clock to pull out a win.

So, back to Pastor Jeff Manion’s question. What kind of a man are you when you don’t get what you want? Let me give you a perspective on this. When the Apostle Paul writes his letter to the church in Philippi (the Philippians) he writes from a prison cell. He’s there because he got in trouble for telling people about Jesus. In the 4th part of his letter he writes:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Here is a guy who has received a large dose of not getting what he wanted. I’m sure Paul had many things he’d rather be doing than sitting in a prison cell with iron manacles around his ankles chained to the wall. Yet, he writes to people who are in much better circumstances about not being anxious, not being angry, not being resentful – but with prayer and thanksgiving bring requests to God. Thanksgiving? Really? I lose my house to the bank and I’m supposed to pray to God and be thankful? Paul explains that there is a cause/effect thing going on here. He tells us not to freak out and not to ‘snap’. He tells us not to look to the world for solutions, but to look to Him. That’s the cause. When we get a big helping of this sucks and we take a deep breath and pray for direction we get the effect – peace. This isn’t ordinary peace. It’s the peace that you can’t even begin to wrap your brain around. But wait! There’s more! Not only will we have that peace in our hearts, it will guard our hearts and our minds. Just stop reading for a second and think about that. If we don’t freak out and look to God for answers He will give us peace that will guard our hearts against the anger, resentment and disappointment.

Paul also says something else in his letter to the church in Pilippi.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Paul explains that he knows what it means to have and to not have. He knows what comfortable is and he knows (obviously) what it’s like to be uncomfortable. He explains that he’s found the secret to contentment and the secret is that he is certain that he can do anything if he lives in the Spirit. If you are a Jesus follower and are living a Spirit centered life, you have that power and that guardian peace that is so big and so comforting you can’t even imagine.

All you need to do is relax. Don’t snap. Don’t lose your temper. Don’t get resentful. Instead, get down on your knees, look up, and wrap your heart around that peace.

One last thing. This is a choice. It doesn’t happen automatically. Just like throwing passes, shooting free throws, or blocking slap shots. It takes practice.

It’s a choice. So, what kind of a man are you when you don’t get what you want?

If you’re facing some tough circumstances and you need some help with all this, please contact us at info@4BetterOr4Worse.org. We have guys that can help you figure it all out.

“There are those among us that aspired to for richer and have suddenly found themselves for poorer. Some reveled in health and never saw in sickness coming. We stood in front of God and everyone and vowed for better but hadn’t ever considered for worse. Waiting on provision through poverty isn’t fun or easy. Finding peace when illness strikes is difficult. Answers that work are elusive when your relationships are at their worst. “

4BetterOr4Worse Ministry is an organization that seeks to strengthen marriages through the role of the husband. Our vision is to support and encourage married Christian men by bringing them out of isolation and into a brotherhood of men who are solid in the Christian faith and will help them navigate the sometimes murky waters of marriage and family.

How?

There are four key events during every calendar year that help us meet our vision. These Encouragement 4 Men nights are events where men can come out and participate in a larger group setting that is light-hearted but meaningful. Keeping men engaged in ministry events throughout the year is a stepping stone for those men who need help with the challenges they face; making it a little more comfortable to ask for one-on-one help. E4M are seasonal events; 4 per year. We try to keep them as consistent as we can on the calendar so men can plan for them. We are also very respectful of the time men have to spend away from their families. These events are designed for men to share dinner with their family and be back home in time to tuck the kids into bed.

The winter event is an open house where men can bring their wives and families to learn more about the work we do with mentoring. The spring event is “date night” – a chance for men to have a quiet meal alone with their wives (evening-care is provided for the kids). The summer event is a beast feast. This is where the hunter / gatherers in us all can come together, do what we do best (BBQ) and enjoy the fellowship of Christian brothers. This isn’t just for outdoorsman – everyone is welcome. Lastly, the fall event is a chance to dig a little deeper and learn more about our identity in Jesus Christ as men and what that means for our marriages and families.

For the rest of the year, 4BetterOr4Worse mentors are meeting weekly and bi-weekly with men at coffee houses and diners, on bike trails and trout streams, encouraging one another and digging into what God’s intentions are for our marriages and families. This is where the real work of the ministry happens. This is where lives are changed, relationships are strengthened, and homes become places of safety more than places of chaos. Through these one-on-one times of support, anger is transformed into grace, hearts are softened, and love endures.

This is our vision. This is what we do. For more information, visit www.4BetterOr4Worse.org or email us at Info@4BetterOr4Worse.org

For those left behind, life after a death can be traumatic. We seek answers, reasons, closure. Most funerals provide this, but here I would like to take a slightly different approach to what you may hear at a service. Let’s talk about the legacy you leave behind. To do this we need to fast forward to the end.

Let’s say, for a moment, that you and I are together in a funeral chapel. There, on the far wall is the casket. The door on the casket is open and it’s you peacefully lying inside. For the sake of argument, your spirit has gone on to be with Jesus and this is just your earthly body, shown for your friends and family.

Here are a couple of questions. Is the room packed with people or are there more employees than friends and family? Are there a lot of flower arrangements around your casket or not much of anything? Do the people who come to see you speak kindly of you or do they recount the events of your life with anger and resentment? How has your life had an impact on the people God has brought into your life?

Impact – I guess that is the real focal point. It’s not a question of whether your life will have an impact or not. Make no mistake, you will have an impact on someone’s life in one way or another. The better question is, what kind off effect will your existence have on other lives?

So, let’s ask a few more questions. What do you want that time at the funeral chapel to look like? Do you want it to be filled with people who say they loved you or would you prefer they say you were emotionally closed off or verbally cruel? Do you want them to be exchanging stories of the good times they had with you or the nightmares of how they wished they could be anywhere but in your presence? Would these people be somehow better for having known you or would you rather they wish they’d never met you? I challenge you to take some time and journal about this funeral “visitation” and where your faith plays out in this event.

If you get that far (and I hope you do), the next challenge will be the most important. This challenge is to live the rest of your life toward that imaginary experience in the funeral chapel. Do you want your wife to say you were a fabulous God-fearing husband? Then take stock of your life and your marriage. Are you headed in that direction? Do you want your kids to say that, as a dad, you were the best and they’re really going to miss you? What adjustments do you need to make to get to that end? Do you want people to say that when they looked at your life that they saw Jesus reflected in how you lived?

In the case of the baby boy I mentioned earlier, I was at the funeral for this little man. The pastor who spoke at the service said that he had been in ministry for a little over 30 years.  He went on to say that he felt humbled by this little boy who seemed to affect more lives in a little over three weeks than he (the pastor) had affected in his 30 years. And the little boy did it all without saying a word.

Maybe you need to make some course adjustments. Maybe you need to make some wholesale changes in your life. In any case, if you’d like to talk about it or if you really need some help, contact us through the Post Office page. We’ll find someone to help you make sense of it all.

And if you’re well on your way, God bless you as you travel the years.

Thanks for stopping by.

I could take this time to give you a lot of information on what’s going on behind the scenes in the ministry, but instead, I’d like to share a couple of stories about how God works through 4BetterOr4Worse.

I’ve been meeting with Eric for over a year now. He is 26 yrs old and single. When we started meeting at a local diner it took quite a while to get past talking about the weather and the hobbies we have. After a few meetings we began to connect and I shared with him the Basics of Grace material that we go through with every man we mentor. Since then we’ve had a number of challenging discussions over burgers and fries. I’ve learned things from him and I’m certain that God has spoken to him through me. A few weeks ago, Eric told me that he has arranged with his employer to work remotely so that he can relocate and be closer to his dad who has ALS. Since I’ve known Eric he’s always had a desire for ministry. As of this letter, he has contacted two of the campus ministry organizations attached to the university near the area where he’s moving. Once he is connected, he will begin to work with college kids. I’m really proud of Eric and I’m blessed to have known him for the past 18 months.

I also want to tell you about two guys who have never met each other but have been a blessing to each other through 4BetterOr4Worse. Scott found himself cash strapped after an error in the accounting at the shop where he works. It would be another week at least before he got his next paycheck and both of his family vehicles needed gas. He posted a prayer request on the Chapel page at 4BetterOr4Worse.org. A day or two later Doug saw the prayer request. He had done some extra side work and was sitting on a little extra money. He e-mailed me and asked how he could get some gas money into Scott’s hands. Our ministry was able to make the connection between the two men. Doug’s generosity was a blessing to Scott and Doug tells me that he has already received a blessing from God for putting his faith into action. The really cool part is that these two guys have never met!

Our focus continues to be working one-on-one with men, encouraging and supporting them in their relationships with Jesus Christ, their wives and their families. We are also building relationships with churches to partner with them. Our web community continues to be a place where men can come for information on a variety of subjects and I am always looking for opportunities to share the positive message of mentoring with churches and men’s groups.

I am grateful for our team of people who provide proactive prayer coverage for the ministry. This has been a great addition to our ministry. On that note, we continue to look for a volunteer to expand this team into a more comprehensive outreach prayer project as an extension of the mentoring. He will be a member of the Core Ministry Team and his primary responsibility will be to receive prayer requests via e-mail and forward them to the prayer team using the prevailing internet technologies. If you or someone you know would be willing to volunteer for this position, please contact me at bert@4BetterOr4Worse.org or at (616) 272-4854.

The small group study is in the final stages of editing. I am in the process of working through it with a small group and a couple of individuals. I’m excited about getting it on the web site for others to use.

Because of the slow steady growth we’ve seen in the last year, we’re recognizing a need for a formal budget process. This is something I’m currently working on for our next Core Ministry Team meeting. Once this budget is approved it will be posted on our web site’s Office page. I want our finances to be transparent and for donors to see how their donations are being used.

The difficult part in any ministry is always the fundraising. Raising support for anything is difficult and I’m so very grateful for the small number of ministry supporters who open their wallets every time we have a need.

However, the time has come to go beyond situational needs into something more substantial. To meet that need, we’ve partnered with Interstate Batteries to raise funds for 4BetterOr4Worse Ministry. This is a great partnership because it allows you to get something practical in return for your donation. Interstate Batteries has long been known for its automotive batteries, but they also offer a line of household batteries, flashlights, organizers, and other products. The easiest way to help is to go to our website. There is a headline on the main page as well as the addition of a logo/link on the sidebar. Click the Interstate Battery logo and it will take you to the order page with the coupon code 4Better already entered for you. Anything you order with this coupon code will include free shipping and half of any item dollar amount comes directly to 4BetterOr4Worse Ministry. My goal is to raise $1000 by the time the kids go back to school in the fall. Please help fund the important work we do with married men by purchasing through this partnership.

I’m always grateful for your support as we continue to support and encourage men who stood in front of God and everyone and said “I do”.

In His service,

Bert DeVries
4BetterOr4Worse Ministry Founder

In every band there’s a sub set of the group called the rhythm section. These cats are the bass player, the drummer, and the keyboard player. They have what seems a rather simplistic task – establish the beat. They control the tempo and move the music through the progressions for the rest of the group to follow. Without the rhythm section, it’s just a singer, or just a guitar player, or just a horn player. It might be okay without, but the rhythm section is what makes the whole thing come alive. You could say it’s what makes the whole band successful.

Married guys are like this. Unfortunately, most married guys are like the musician on the street corner in Chicago or New York. They stand in the crowd with their saxophone case open in front of them and play all by themselves, hoping to make as much of themselves as they can. No doubt some are very talented, filling the streets with great music for very short periods of time. I heard a guy in the streets of Chicago on Black Friday last year. He was awesome that afternoon. He found a groove and was really after it. A few blocks later we found a beat boxer with a five gallon bucket and a metal can. Again, very talented – I could have listened to him all afternoon. The next day they were no where to be found. Loners like these guys are great at what they do. But they’re inconsistent and, on their own, will never make it to the big time.

You and I are the same way. We are great guys. We have skills, talents, and gifts. We do great on our own for short periods of time. When we’re out in the crowded world of career, car repairs, broken washing machines, and overdue bills, our greatness vanishes into the noise this world. Our gifts, talents, and skills are no match for the barrage of battles, challenges, and stresses we face. We’re great today and we’re gone tomorrow. Still, what if that saxophone player outside Macy’s joined up with the beat boxer from South Wacker Drive. And what if they found a guitar player from Lincoln Square and keyboard player from somewhere else? If they all got together, practiced together every week, and leveraged the talents that each individual brought to the group, they might be the next Steve Miller band!

Being a married guy is like being a musician. We can either go it alone on the street corner, playing for nickels and dimes – hoping for the occasional five dollar bill, or we can band together. We can seek each other out, meet regularly together, leverage the strengths of other married guys, encourage each other, and bring more quality to our lives individually and collectively. A guy with a drum set is just a drummer. A guy with a bass guitar is just a bass player. But put them together and add a keyboard player and you’ve got a rhythm section. You’ve got community. You’ve got something more than just the individual parts. It’s the foundation for something great!

Here’s the kicker. Every band needs an agent to get them into the big time, right? The agent is someone who advocates for the band to the people who give them their “big break”. As married guys, we have an advocate too – an agent that works in our favor. You know where I’m going with this. Our agent, our advocate, is Jesus Christ. Our big break is eternal life with God the Father. The thing is, our agent, working as a Trinity, much prefers the band – the community – to the solo act. God the Father didn’t create us married guys to stand on a street corner and play for loose change. In His unbelievably perfect design, He created us all to be members of the band. He made us bass players, guitar players, horn players, singers, drummers, slide guitarists, guys who play the Hammond B3, the Dobro, and the pedal steel. He made us all diverse so that we can compliment each other and boldly rock!

So, if you’re that guy – the guy on the corner playing television theme music on your harmonica with your hat at your feet, stop the solo act. Search out and find some other guys. Leverage the strengths of the others to help you navigate the challenges of marriage and family and encourage each other.

I’ve done both. It’s much more fun to play in a band than going solo.

Thanks for checking in.

Bert

It is a proven fact that when life gets rough we fall back on what we know to be true. This applies to all kinds of things including relationships, parenting, and coping with stress. I’ve seen more relationship breakups than I care to talk about and in most of them, I can point to major issues that stem from “going with what you know”.

Talk to any psychologist or social worker (as I have) and they will tell you that when dealing with behavior or discipline issues with children, parents will fall back on “what they know”. This means that they will adopt the same attitudes that their parents did with their own issues. In some cases this works well. However, as with good parenting, bad parenting tends to perpetuate itself. I’ve seen good parents make really poor parenting decisions because they didn’t know what to do and reverted to what they knew – what mom and dad did with them.

Just as going with what you know happens in parenting, the same model holds true in relationships with spouses. As is bound to happen, when disagreements and other stresses hit a marriage, one or both partners go with what they know. More often than not, their decisions are directly linked to what their parents modeled for them. One of two things happens; men will either fall back on how their fathers approached issues with their moms or, if a man looked as his dad as a really bad spouse, their attitudes may swing the pendulum to the other extreme and they’ll handle things the opposite way.

What doesn’t follow the pattern is how we cope with stressful situations. As we grow and mature, we develop strategies for coping with stress. Sometimes there are outside influences in the development of these coping mechanisms, but for the most part we develop what works for us. By the time we graduate high school our strategies for coping are pretty grounded.

So the adage says “Go with what you know”. It’s real – and we’re all pre-wired to do just that.

Question – Is this the best way to navigate through our lives and our relationships? I say not.

This manner of dealing with problems in life has been going on for so long that the Apostle Peter wrote about it in his letter to the churches after the resurrection of Jesus. Bad habits are hard to break, eh?

Peter the disciple writes to the churches in Asia:

14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. (NIV)

This is the NIV translation and it’s good. I think the same passage from The Message is even more clear.

13-16So roll up your sleeves, put your mind in gear, be totally ready to receive the gift that’s coming when Jesus arrives. Don’t lazily slip back into those old grooves of evil, doing just what you feel like doing. You didn’t know any better then; you do now. As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God’s life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, “I am holy; you be holy.” (The Message)

You see, we’re to model our actions and reactions after Jesus Christ, not on how we’ve been conditioned to act and react from our past and the influences from it.

I love how The Message starts out this section by telling us men to roll up our sleeves and get after it. There’s an attitude of determination here. We’re not to be satisfied with the way things are just because we’ve always done them that way. It calls us to action. It challenges us to put aside our desires for ourselves and to make room for the Spirit to move through us. We can’t be lazy! We have to practice, work, and develop this continual focus on our identity in Jesus Christ, not our identity in what we know from our past and the methods we used to cope with bad situations.

This is a rallying cry guys! This is where we pick up our swords and shields (ala 300) and confidently engage our everyday lives with the greatest commandment – “Love God above all and love our neighbor (our wives) as we love ourselves”!

If this seems overwhelming to you, send me a message on the Post Office page or on Facebook. We can find someone to spend some time with you and help you figure this all out in your own life.