In many cases, 4BetterOr4Worse Ministry gets to be involved in some really cool things. However, many times, those cool things are born out of some type of dysfunction, chaos, or tragedy. In the last two months we’ve been involved in the lives of two guys who have lost close members of their families. One was a suicide and one was the death of a baby boy who lived a little less than a month. We’ve had the honor of supporting and encouraging the uncles in these events.

For those left behind, life after a death can be traumatic. We seek answers, reasons, closure. Most funerals provide this, but here I would like to take a slightly different approach to what you may hear at a service. Let’s talk about the legacy you leave behind. To do this we need to fast forward to the end.

Let’s say, for a moment, that you and I are together in a funeral chapel. There, on the far wall is the casket. The door on the casket is open and it’s you peacefully lying inside. For the sake of argument, your spirit has gone on to be with Jesus and this is just your earthly body, shown for your friends and family.

Here are a couple of questions. Is the room packed with people or are there more employees than friends and family? Are there a lot of flower arrangements around your casket or not much of anything? Do the people who come to see you speak kindly of you or do they recount the events of your life with anger and resentment? How has your life had an impact on the people God has brought into your life?

Impact – I guess that is the real focal point. It’s not a question of whether your life will have an impact or not. Make no mistake, you will have an impact on someone’s life in one way or another. The better question is, what kind off effect will your existence have on other lives?

So, let’s ask a few more questions. What do you want that time at the funeral chapel to look like? Do you want it to be filled with people who say they loved you or would you prefer they say you were emotionally closed off or verbally cruel? Do you want them to be exchanging stories of the good times they had with you or the nightmares of how they wished they could be anywhere but in your presence? Would these people be somehow better for having known you or would you rather they wish they’d never met you? I challenge you to take some time and journal about this funeral “visitation” and where your faith plays out in this event.

If you get that far (and I hope you do), the next challenge will be the most important. This challenge is to live the rest of your life toward that imaginary experience in the funeral chapel. Do you want your wife to say you were a fabulous God-fearing husband? Then take stock of your life and your marriage. Are you headed in that direction? Do you want your kids to say that, as a dad, you were the best and they’re really going to miss you? What adjustments do you need to make to get to that end? Do you want people to say that when they looked at your life that they saw Jesus reflected in how you lived?

In the case of the baby boy I mentioned earlier, I was at the funeral for this little man. The pastor who spoke at the service said that he had been in ministry for a little over 30 years.  He went on to say that he felt humbled by this little boy who seemed to affect more lives in a little over three weeks than he (the pastor) had affected in his 30 years. And the little boy did it all without saying a word.

Maybe you need to make some course adjustments. Maybe you need to make some wholesale changes in your life. In any case, if you’d like to talk about it or if you really need some help, contact us through the Post Office page. We’ll find someone to help you make sense of it all.

And if you’re well on your way, God bless you as you travel the years.

Thanks for stopping by.